Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
