Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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