he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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