So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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