Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize