So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Who died my cat blue again?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
