Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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