is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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