I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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