Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
