Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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