I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
