This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
