Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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