Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize