I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i think i just lost a toe
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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