the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
