better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
