11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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