Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
