Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you would pick up someone in the library
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
