Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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