addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
