I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
