What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
