But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
