I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
