just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
cat food counts as protein by the way
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
