yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
