He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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