You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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