Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
