she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
