its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize