I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize