Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
