I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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