Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
