So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
