I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
