it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
