Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
