you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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