Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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