I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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