Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My hand turned me down
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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