Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
