i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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