that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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