I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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