Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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