We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
