so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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