So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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