Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
