I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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