just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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