New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
