If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
