Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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