I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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