Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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