You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
